the term suicide kings
"The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity." (Yeats, The Second Coming)
I think they lack conviction because they understand the weight of words
and hold their tongues instead of hurting people carelessly
the ones that speak the loudest are full of the audacity that comes from affluent self-forgiveness
the ones that know when to speak wisdom (when it will be heard) are most often silent
but a "suicide king" has no "future" waiting; there is no reason Not to be humble, and no reason Not to be audacious.
if you can't look at yourself upon your own time of self-killing with full measure in the mirror, understanding what you are and why you will die and how and why, you are not a suicide king. just a suicide
the once and future king is a suicide king.
it's still a working definition but I want to express in the future the dual polarities of suicide kings (shinigami) and how most human beings only occupy one behavioral role their whole lives but shinigami are forced to contend with multiple extreme contradictions
IV: or rather I wonder that people occupy a singular role bc they aren't forced into a contradiction of their own humanity so they aren't constricted by the onus of responsibility that force-triggers a behavioral / psychiatric evolution to raise the chances of survival
(i.e. most people have only one ego, but ryomen like big brother and I have two)
people don't become monsters / berserkers bc they are safe and secure...(THEY DO IT BECAUSE THEIR LIFE IS AT STAKE.)
in an environment that is evolve right now or Die Immediately there is no luxury of stagnation
I think there's more liquid mercurial fluctuation and innate potential to change and embody both extremes of a circumstance simultaneously which also extends to a more holistic view and measure of the self, from internal to external, instead of the excessive self-abasing or self-praising behavior obscene insularity can wring out...
like my mother's evil star blaming her curse for. anything that happens to me. to the point she's paranoid that me drinking from the same water bottle will infect me with her misfortune.